Examples of pedestals :
- Soldiers are martyrs. ( They choose to die for their beliefs : no. They want to come back home to their families like all the rest of us. Stop forcing them to prove their patriotism by dying. )
- Women are mothers. ( No. Women have a biologically evolved flesh contraption that can be conducive to producing babies. Doesn’t mean that women are not allowed to be assholes. )
- Men are strong. ( Men are human beings. They get hurt. They cry. Doesn’t make them less of a “man”. Men are allowed to be weak if they want. No one is strong ALL the time. If they try to be, they are going to suffer from severe mental health issues. )
- Women are supposed to be nice and understanding. No. Fuck that. I’m not nice. I’m not understanding. I am not going to be a martyr for anyone’s bullshit. I refuse to allow anyone to put women on a pedestal. Goddesses. Mothers. Daughters. As if I’ve signed a contract with all of humankind to always take everyone’s bullshit and be ok with it.
These things above? This is forcing YOUR expectations on an individual. This is putting someone on a pedestal without their consent or agreement.
Pedestal : used in reference to a situation in which someone is greatly or uncritically admired.
“it’s as if I’m on a pedestal and he worships me—I hate that”. To idolize. Idealize. Etc.
“This is so unlike you Naina”.
- You don’t know me because you follow my Instagram account.
- I’m not perfect. No one is.
No one should carry the burden of being perfect. We are all flawed. You are being rude when you expect someone to be perfect. Including your parents.
Parents are people too. They fuck up. You can decide whether you’re ok with their fuck up(s) or not. And you can communicate that you want them to do better next time. But, you cannot make them into something they are not.
The only person you can attempt to control is yourself.
Everyone else :
You can choose to support by following / liking / messaging / chatting / hugging / holding hands / replying to their texts etc.
You can choose to not support by unfollowing / not buying their art / not buying tickets to their events / etc.
Don’t tell anyone what or who they are supposed to be. They might think of bigger things and your comment might damage their dream.
If you want to damage someone’s dream on purpose, you need different kinds of help.
“All my heroes have let me down”. No. You let yourself down because you put human beings on a pedestal without their consent. You expected a fellow human-being to be a model of perfection. It is YOUR fault that you’re feeling let down.
Take responsibility for your actions and behaviour and personality. Make a proactive choice for YOURSELF. Be kind to yourself. Only then will you be able to remain kind when others reveal their flaws.
I am flawed and I will not have it any other way.